Gettin' Down to it...

Well, I started this blog in order to post some pictures of invitations I've been working on for my mother's 90th birthday celebration. I thought it would make things easier if my siblings, who all live in different states, could access the samples in one easy place. I don't even know if anyone has even looked at them yet...so, in the spirit of blogging I am going to get down to it...

My youngest son starts college today. Not university, but community college...but, hey, college is college. And I am really going through some stuff relative to him growing away from me and growing up. Didn't think I would since I've been through the kids growing up thing twice before...but here I am having strange emotions, wanting to control things he does and decisions he makes (this is nothing new, but I am TRYING to back off in light of the fact that he IS 18), and I can tell you it isn't working out too well. He wants to get away from me, ignore me, make fun of me, not listen to me...basically wants me to disappear, I fear. And, in spite of all the mistakes in judgment I imagine he is making...it hurts and I am starting to see that is what is really, deeply bothering me. My baby is actually, after all these years of gradual separation, growing up and growing out. I am a praying woman, who has a deep faith in Christ, and I'm trying real hard to let Him take this from me and help me to stay calm and not be a psyco mother...but some days I do let it all get the best of me. I will never learn...and I also know that my kid is a good kid, doesn't smoke (except the occasional cigar, yech!), doesn't drink (at least not that I've ever noticed, and believe me I would notice), isn't into crime or treating the young women he knows with disrespect, and he actually has feelings that he does show...when he choses to.

So...off he goes...I can't hand him a lunchbox, pat him on the head, and walk him to school. I can't sit in class with him, and take notes, and make sure he is paying attention to what is expected of him. But I can look forward to seeing him succeed on his own terms and be a successful young man who will take at least some of what I've taught him through the years and use it to guide himself through the maze we call life.